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Alagang Aso ni Mario ay namatay. Nagpunta sya sa kanilang parokya.
Mario: Father, namatay ho yung aso ko. Pwede po bang magpamisa para sa kanya?
Pari: Anak, hindi tayo nagpapamisa para sa mga hayop. Kung gusto me, me isa pang simbahan na iba ang relihiyon jan sa kanto, baka me maitutulong sila sa iyo.
Mario: a, ganon ho ba? O sige pupunta ako dun. Ok na siguro ang donasyon na 20,000 pesos no? Hindi na nakakahiya?
Pari: Susmaryosep! Bakit hindi mu sinabing Katoliko pala ang aso mo?

In an emergency room…
Erap: Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone
Doctor: Are you choking?
Erap: No, I’m serious!!!

rap while still in Gradeschool:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Erap: Eh, di 9.
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Erap: Gagaguhin ninyo pa ako, eh binaligtad ninyo lang, eh di 6!!!
While in Drugstore:
Erap: I’d like some vitamins for my Grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap: It does matter, cause he can’t read yet!!!
While in a state visit to Washington, D.C.:
Bill Clinton: You know, we Americans hate you Filipinos going TNT in our country. Sorry if I’m Frank.
Erap (shocked): It’s Okay, I thought you were Bill!!!

While hailing a taxicab in Makati:
Erap: Magkano papuntang San Juan?
Driver: Ikaw lang bang mag-isa?
Erap: Bakit, di ka ba sasama?

While in Luneta:
Erap: Bro. Mike, can prostitute be saved?
Bro. Mike: Siyempre!
Erap: Sige, I-save mo ako para sa Sabado nights

While in Pizzeria:
Erap: What are your specialties?
Waiter: Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Erap: Talaga?, bigyan mo ang ako ng Shakeys!!

Erap calling U.P. Diliman:
Erap: Hello! Is this Diliman?
Operator; No, this is Padre Faura!
Erap: I’m sorry father, wrong number!!!

3 comments:

  1. pwede po kau mg post ng joke nyo di2....

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Most Read Jokes of Gloria macapagal arroyo and mike velarde, POsted and created by bob ong comedy picks

    ReplyDelete
  3. At a funeral...

    ERAP: Tara na, Jinggoy. Alis na tayo!
    JINGGOY: Kararating pa lang natin a!
    ERAP: Naku mahirap nang maiwan. Basahin mo o: "REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED."

    ReplyDelete