Homer Simpson Quotes!!!
- "How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing - did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze. "
- "I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car! "
- "But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder."
- "When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle - they're on TV!"
- "Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me? "
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Don't you know the saying? 'Water water everywhere, so let's all have a drink.'
What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like the movie... Spaceballs. But instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie Police Academy.
Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool, like a butcher's knife, or a harpoon, or an alligator.
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Fourty percent of people know that.
Marge, someone broke the toilet.
I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
First you don't want me to get the pony, now you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!
